Podcast Interview

Podcast Interview: Wellness Check: Clinical therapist Danielle Kepler

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Danielle contributed the following to a Huffington Post article about dating advice that your single friends are hearing from you:

“2.  ‘You’re being too picky. You need to lower your standards.’

Standards exist for a reason, so be respectful of your friends’ non-negotiables. If your friend is adamant that they don’t want kids or is looking for a partner who’s

their financial equal, respect those choices. Chipping away at those standards is likely to result in an incompatible match.

“When you tell a friend to lower their standards, you’re telling them to give up on essential needs they’re looking for in a partner,” said Danielle Kepler, a therapist in Chicago. “Giving up on those needs might result in dating someone who they won’t ever reach compromise with, especially if they disregard goals and dreams for their future by dating them.”

5. ‘Maybe you’d have better luck if you put more effort into what you wear.’

Yes, a little effort goes a long way when you’re going on a first date or looking to meet people at the bar or an event. That said, if your friend is comfortable and looks relatively put together when they go out, don’t suggest they take the trouble to buy a whole new outfit. Let them be, and cool it with the judgment, Kepler said.

“Putting on a façade by dressing different than you usually would dress, or putting in way more effort than you usually would, is kind of like false advertising,” she said. “You shouldn’t have to drastically change your appearance to attract a partner and putting yourself in that mindset doesn’t help your self-esteem while on a date.”

Read the entire article here.

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