Finding a therapist is not an easy feat. Who takes your insurance? Who has appointment times that fit your schedule? Do they offer your preferred meeting method, either online or in person?
If you find someone who meets all of these logistical requirements, it can be hard to consider that, sometimes, they’re not the right therapist for you. it can be hard to know what other concerns you might have that deserve to be addressed.
If you’re wondering if it’s time to fire your therapist and find a new one, here are some things to consider about evaluating your therapist fit.
First, let’s define your concerns about therapist fit:
Background
Do you want your clinician to have a clinical background in something specific, such as eating disorders or substance use? Are you hoping your therapist has an in-depth understanding of your religious or spiritual beliefs so they can be incorporated into a session?
How about your desires for a cultural background that matches yours, or how close in age you’d like your therapist to be?
Progress in sessions
Maybe you’ve been going to therapy for a while and feel like progress has not been happening at the pace you were hoping for. Has your therapist forgotten to explain your treatment plan, or do they have a different goal in mind than you for your goals?
Session preferences
Does your therapist use a lot of ACT worksheets when you were actually hoping for CBT thought tracking? Maybe you want to paint, play a game, or take a walk during therapy, but your therapist has only offered sessions sitting in the office. Are you hoping for a therapist to be an empathetic ear, someone who challenges you, or gives you advice or tools?
General fit
The relationship between a client and their therapist is very important. It allows you to feel comfortable sharing, bringing up concerns, and feeling heard in session. Some therapists are more humorous in session, while others may be more of a “blank slate”; you might prefer one over the other. Finding the right therapist fit for you might look different than the right therapist fit for someone else.
You might respond better to a therapist who lets you lead the session, while your friend might prefer a therapist who brings up topics that might be productive to explore. Everyone prefers a different approach to sessions!
Next, distinguish between what is a personal preference for therapist fit and what is an ethical violation
Some concerns might be a personal preference that you can address with your therapist, like the examples above, but others might be an ethical red flag. Some examples of ethical red flags can include not maintaining confidentiality, making sexual or personal advances, consistently belittling you, or practicing under the influence.
If you are feeling like your therapist is doing something unethical, you have every right to report them and find another care provider! If you feel that your therapist is doing something outside of your personal preference, but isn’t unethical, there are more possibilities for you.
What to do next
If you feel comfortable, you can bring up your concerns to your therapist – in person or via writing – and see what can be shifted. If you don’t feel comfortable or you have brought up concerns with no success in change, you can always ask for a referral to a different provider.
If none of these options feel right for you, remember that simply ending treatment with your provider is always an option.
There are so many aspects that go into finding the right therapist fit. You need someone who not only fits your logistical needs but also your personal preferences. It might take a few tries, but you are deserving of a clinician with whom you feel comfortable.
This blog was written by Clara, one of our therapists here at DK Therapy. She is currently accepting new clients, and you can schedule an appointment with her here.
