Being in a loving relationship is great. It’s a wonderful feeling to be around someone whose company you truly enjoy, and who truly values being around you. However, there’s a fine line between spending enough time together and spending too much time together.
This is where relationship independence comes into play.
What is Relationship Independence?
Relationship independence refers to a couple’s practice of maintaining their own professional and personal lives while in a romantic relationship. While it’s great to spend time together, independent couples also enjoy spending time away from their partner, whether they’re pursuing career goals, spending time with friends and family, working on a hobby, or simply taking time for personal reflection and relaxation.
It’s healthy not to spend every waking moment with one’s partner, even if we enjoy the time we spend with them. Independent couples remember that they are each a unique person first and one half of a couple second.
How to Be Independent in a Relationship
To be independent in your relationship but still find time to grow together, try the following tips.
Set Your Own Goals
In a committed relationship, it’s important to have goals that you and your partner work towards together, but it’s just as important to have goals to pursue as an individual. Think about what you want to accomplish as a person, whether you’re thinking about your career or your personal life. It’s okay to have plans that don’t directly involve your partner, and vice versa.
Maintain Your Own Friend Groups
If you and your partner have the exact same friend group, this might be difficult, but if you don’t, keep your friends. Make time for them and enjoy spending time with the people you care about outside of your relationship.
When you and your partner do have the same friend group, remember that it’s okay to spend time with a friend even when your partner is busy.
Prioritize Your Personal Time
Take time to be alone. It doesn’t matter what you do during this time, so long as it’s your time to spend. Have a day in which you focus on your physical and mental health. Dedicate some of your free time to learning a skill, or just simply enjoy resting after a long week at school or work. It’s important that you have your own time to do whatever you wish, just as it’s important for your partner to have the same.
Share Your Thoughts and Feelings
Share your boundaries and expectations with your partner rather than leaving them wondering. Explain to the person you love that you value and respect your relationship with each other, but point out that you also want the two of you to maintain your own lives and characteristics when you’re apart. Encourage your partner to do the same things, such as finding hobbies, hanging out with friends, learning skills, or just getting comfortable with being by himself or herself.
Independence is healthy, and in order to maintain relationship independence, communication is essential. Talk to your partner about your wants and needs when it comes to your individual life (and theirs), and be sure to open the floor for healthy discussion.
