Getting angry is a normal part of human life, albeit an unpleasant one. That said, some of us don’t process our anger as effectively as we should, and as a result, anger can consume our entire day when it flares up.
Anger can be warranted and productive or it can be somewhat pointless and distracting. An important part of getting in touch with your feelings involves understanding why you’re angry, then taking steps toward a resolution.
Here are five tips to follow to help you manage your anger if you find your emotions getting out of control.
Know Your Triggers, Know the Signs
Sometimes, the best way to deal with anger is to avoid it when it isn’t going to lead to a positive outcome (for example, the typical “nothing” argument). Think about your common anger triggers so that you’re aware of what usually makes you angry, then take notice of how your body reacts to brewing anger.
When you know what triggers your anger and you know how anger feels when it builds, you can work on calming down before your feelings get out of hand.
Take a Minute to Calm Down
If you’re incredibly angry, avoid having an angry outburst by leaving the area and taking a moment to be alone. One of the last things you want to do is say things you don’t mean, simply because you’re upset.
Go to another room and take some deep breaths, then think about how to approach the issue in a calm and collected manner.
Perform Calming Exercises
Breathing exercises, grounding routines, meditation, or even rigorous physical exercise can help relieve you of the anger you’re feeling. If you’re about to explode because you’ve gotten so upset, take a walk or a run, go for a workout, or practice simpler, more gentle exercises to relax yourself.
Approach the Conflict Correctly
Once you’ve had time to collect your thoughts, think about how you’re going to tackle the issue at hand. Go over your approach and your potential responses in your head so that you have at least the framework of a plan for resolving the problem.
Remember, though, not every argument will be something you can overcome. Sometimes, the person who engages in an argument with you does not want to find a solution, they want to argue. They want to make you even angrier than you are now. Instead of stepping right where this person wants you to be, leave the situation. Nothing good will come from arguing with someone who truly wants to fight. Cut your losses and move on with your day.
Seek Help
Perhaps you have found that you feel angry a lot more often than you ever have before. Maybe you’re also having a harder time managing your anger than you did in the past. If you have tried to avoid getting angry, and your resolution techniques have proven ineffective, it might be time to reach out to a mental health provider. There’s no shame in seeking help when you need it.
