When we send our young adult children out into the world, we want them to return home for visits. Most of the time, though, we don’t expect that those visits are going to become a new living situation. While, of course, many parents are happy to have their children come back home, adjusting to the new household arrangements associated with the move can be challenging.
If you’re one of many parents who have recently had their adult children (as well as their families, in some cases) come home, keep reading for tips on how to keep your home life stable with two or more generations under one roof.
What is the Boomerang Generation?
The term “boomerang generation” isn’t necessarily attributed to one generation in particular, as families spanning several age groups might encounter a time in which adult children become part of the boomerang generation.
As the name implies, boomerang children are adult children who left their parents’ homes to start their own lives, but due to circumstances (usually economic hardship for one or both parties), have had to move back with their parents.
Set Boundaries and Expectations
The most important thing to do when your adult children move back into your home is to set boundaries and expectations. This should involve both parties, meaning yourself and your children. You each have your own needs for privacy and your own ways of interacting while at home, so it’s essential that everyone involved takes time to communicate their needs appropriately.
Among the most important of these arrangements are household contributions, timelines, and personal freedom.
Household Contributions
When your adult children return home, some of the behaviors that were common when they were young still apply. For example, it’s acceptable to expect your adult children to help out around the house. This could either be monetary help, like paying for a portion of the groceries, utilities, or mortgage, but if your adult children returned home due to financial struggles, they can contribute by means of doing chores (cooking for the family, taking care of laundry, etc.).
Timelines
If having your home full of people once again isn’t exactly your idea of fun, it’s a good idea to communicate just how long you’re willing to have your adult children home again. Some families expect their children to get back on their feet within a few months, some give their children a year to move back out, and others are okay with their adult children staying indefinitely. The choice is yours, but be clear about whatever you decide.
Freedom
When your adult children live in your home, it should be understood that they need to abide by your rules. However, these rules should not be the same as they were when your adult children were young.
Give your children the privacy they need, but communicate any reasonable rules you’d expect an adult to follow while in your home. For example, while your children might not have a curfew or bedtime anymore, it’s acceptable to lay down rules about inviting other people over or taking care of household pets.
Making a big adjustment like having members of your family return home for an indefinite stay isn’t easy for the best of us. However, practicing good communication skills and remaining open and honest about what everyone expects from this arrangement can help keep the peace at home. If you’re looking for more support through this transition, contact our counseling office today.
