Nobody likes to see their partner feeling down in the dumps, but when their feelings persist for months or even years, it can be difficult to find ways to help cheer them up. Having a partner with depression is challenging, so you might not always have a solution readily available when you want to be helpful. It’s okay to admit that the struggles your partner is experiencing are hard for you both, but there are several things you can do to show support.
Keep reading to learn about depression, the effects of this disorder, and what you can do to support your partner when he or she is struggling.
What is Depression?
Depression is a mood disorder that negatively affects an individual’s mental health by inducing persistent feelings of sadness, disinterest, and withdrawal. The general condition has a few official diagnoses that doctors may propose, depending on the unique symptoms the patient is facing. Depression can be called clinical depression, chronic depression, or Major Depressive Disorder.
Each form of depression impacts how a person thinks, feels, and behaves. As a result, the condition produces an array of mental, emotional, and physical signs and symptoms, which we will discuss in this article.
The Impact of Depression
Depression often stems from a chemical imbalance in an individual’s brain, which reduces serotonin and dopamine levels so that the body and mind are constantly undersupplied. Other events in an individual’s life can bring about the development of depression as well, and when the brain regulates moods improperly, depression can be long-lasting.
Depression can not only affect a patient’s mental health but their holistic health and social well-being as well. This disorder can impact the central nervous system, digestive system, cardiovascular system, and immune system in several ways. For example, depression has been linked to increased pain sensitivity, frequent headaches, malnutrition, constipation, high blood pressure, and lowered immune response among other conditions.
Additionally, because depression can make an individual feel exhausted, withdrawn, and hopeless, the condition also affects the individual’s family, friends, and colleagues. It might become more difficult to engage in activities with this person or spend time with them in general.
Depression Symptoms
Depression can come with various symptoms, each affecting an individual differently. Some patients will experience all or most of these symptoms, while others only experience a few.
Common symptoms include:
- Pervasive feelings of hopelessness, emptiness, or sorrow
- Irritability, frustration, and occasional angry outbursts
- Sleeping issues, including insomnia or spending too much time sleeping
- Rapid weight loss or weight gain
- Loss of interest in activities
- Restlessness or anxiety
- Fixation on one’s shortcomings, past failures, or feelings of worthlessness
- Slowed speech, thought, and body movement
- Difficulty concentrating or remembering
- Fatigue or lack of energy
- Chronic physical pain
- Recurring thoughts of death or suicide
How You Can Help Your Partner
One of the best things someone can do if their partner struggles with depression is to dedicate a moment to understanding and empathizing. Nobody wants to feel horrible all the time, and your partner isn’t thinking, talking, or behaving this way on purpose. Depression is not voluntary, it’s a mental health condition that induces devastating effects that are incredibly difficult to overcome.
Validate the way your partner feels, even if you don’t understand it yourself. They’re dealing with the effects of a legitimate medical condition, and being treated with care and consideration can go a long way.
To help support your partner through the hardest times they experience, try the following tips.
- Educate Yourself: Take time to learn about depression so that you can better understand what your partner is experiencing, at least from an outside perspective. Visit reputable, scientifically-supported resources to avoid being exposed to misinformation published online.
- Don’t Patronize: After educating yourself about depression, it should be a lot easier to be both empathetic and reasonable when supporting your partner. The resources you study will make it easier to avoid suggesting unsubstantiated “cures” or “help” that likely won’t help your partner.
For example, avoid saying things like, “it’s all in your head,” or “mind over matter.” Avoid suggesting that depression can be cured by getting fresh air and sunlight, praying for help, or smiling more often.
- Listen: When your partner wants to discuss their feelings, listen to what they have to say. It may be unpleasant, but practicing active listening will not only support the person you love, but it may help shed light on the nature of their condition.
- Show Them You Care: Even if your partner isn’t feeling particularly social or interested in having fun, try to spend time with them. Be affectionate, tell them you love them, or do something nice that you know they’ll appreciate.
- Be Available: You don’t have to spend every waking moment glued to your partner’s side, but do your best to be there for them if they express a need. Be ready to help out with something they request or provide them with a listening ear.
- Stay Positive: Dealing with second-hand depression can be exhausting, but try to remain as positive as you can. Avoid becoming upset, getting your feelings hurt, or being annoyed that your partner wants to be alone. Remember, this isn’t his or her fault, and it isn’t yours. It won’t last forever, and expressing anger will only lead your partner to feel guilty, betrayed, or like a burden.
- Try to Engage: Sometimes, people with depression will engage in fun activities when they’re encouraged to do so. Don’t force the occasion, but if you can get your partner to go on a walk with you, watch a movie, or go out to dinner, take the opportunity.
- Encourage Professional Help: People who struggle with depression often need professional help to start feeling better. Encourage your partner to speak to a medical professional so that he or she can begin treatment. Remind them that there’s no need to feel ashamed of needing help, and let them know that various treatment protocols exist.
If you have a partner with depression, you’re not alone. Many couples deal with the struggles associated with one partner’s depression. It can be overwhelming when you’re trying to care for your loved one while remembering to care for yourself as well. If you’re feeling down and in need of support yourself, consider joining a support group for partners and spouses of individuals with depression.
Additionally, seeking therapy to help manage your feelings is worth looking into. If you and your partner both seek professional help, you’re likely to reach more positive, sustainable outcomes. You can help your partner while helping yourself. Plus, therapy sessions may very well help you communicate with each other and work towards recovery together.
If you or your partner is struggling with depression, talking with one of our therapists may be helpful whether individually or with your partner. Schedule an appointment here.
