You may have heard the saying that when it comes to their sex drives, men are like microwaves and women are like ovens.
Simply put, men are able to be aroused within seconds, and they can cool down within seconds, too. However, women take a lot longer to reach arousal and to cool down.
While both microwaves and ovens are functional and can yield desirable results, they are two different pieces of technology. If you want to step up you sex life, it’s important for you to recognize the best way to “operate” your partner’s sex drive.
If your partner is like an oven, it can be frustrating when they aren’t immediately aroused when it is time to have sex. Likewise, when their partners are like microwaves, it can be frustrating for people who need a bit more time to get aroused.
However, with the right mindset, you will find that your intimacy and sex life with your partner can improve. By considering the fact that your partner might have different needs than yours, you will be able to get on the same page.
Here are some tips to help you increase desire and intimacy with your partner:
Make the most of small interactions
There are many ways to help build arousal that are often overlooked. Small moments of intimacy matter just as much as the big ones, and they can help make the big moments even more special.
Try putting a hand on your partner’s knee when you’re driving home or holding their hand while you’re running errands together. Make it a habit to give your partner hugs when they come home from work or to caress their back as you pass them in the living room or the kitchen.
These small moments of physical touch can make a huge difference for your partner and help the two of you feel closer to one another.
Showing physical affection outside of sex is a great way to increase intimacy and trust.
Offer support and affirmation
Sometimes it may take some people longer to warm up because they aren’t feeling comfortable or valued.
While it might not seem directly tied to sexual intimacy, giving your partner affirmation and support can go a long way toward helping them feel desirable. When your partner feels desirable, they will be more likely to be vulnerable and comfortable with you when it is time to get physical.
You can offer support and affirmation by giving them compliments every day, texting them when you think about them during the day, showing them unconditional positive regard when they share information about themselves with you, and letting them know that you will always be attracted to them.
When your partner feels safe and valued with you, they will have an easier time being physically intimate with you.
Communicate throughout the day
You can help build anticipation for a special night by staying in communication with your partner throughout the day.
Sending texts letting them know that you are thinking of them, that you are attracted to them, and that you are looking forward to spending time together are ways to help “pre-heat” the oven and improve your sex life.
In addition to communicating affection for one another, talking openly about intimacy can also work wonders for your sex life.
If you need more time, foreplay, and physical affection outside of sex to get aroused, let your partner know. If you want to have more frequent sex or there are certain times of day when you are more aroused than other times, share this information with your partner.
By communicating honestly, you and your partner will learn how to better “operate” the microwave or the oven.
Make an effort to learn about your partner’s unique needs. This means that you will need to ask them explicitly and to listen actively when they share.
Whether your partner’s sex drive is more like a microwave or more like an oven, it is important for you to be aware of what they need and want when it comes to physical intimacy in your relationship.
When you are able to listen and learn from what they share with you, your connection (both physically and emotionally) will blossom.
