You may have heard the saying that when it comes to their sex drives, men are like microwaves and women are like ovens.
Simply put, men are able to become aroused and cool down within seconds. Women may take longer to reach arousal and to cool down.
While both microwaves and ovens are functional, they are two different pieces of technology. If you want to improve your sex life, it’s important to know how to “operate” your partner’s sex drive.
If your partner is like an oven, waiting for them to be ready when the time comes can be frustrating. When your partner is like a microwave, it’s also difficult for those who need a minute to catch up.
With the right mindset, you’ll find that you can improve your sex life with your partner. By considering how your needs differ, you’ll be able to get on the same page.
Here are some tips to help you increase desire and intimacy with your partner:
Make the most of small interactions
There are many ways to help build arousal that are often overlooked. Small moments of intimacy matter just as much as the big ones, and they can help make the big moments special.
Try putting a hand on your partner’s knee when you’re driving home. Hold their hand while you’re running errands together. Make it a habit to give your partner hugs when they come home from work or caress their back as you pass them by.
These small moments of physical touch can make a difference for your partner and help the two of you feel closer.
Showing physical affection outside of sex is a great way to increase intimacy and trust.
Offer support and affirmation
Sometimes it may take some people longer to warm up because they aren’t feeling comfortable or valued.
While it might not seem directly tied to sexual intimacy, giving your partner affirmation can go a long way in making them feel desirable. When your partner feels desirable, they will be more likely to be vulnerable. And vulnerability usually translates to them being comfortable when it’s time to get physical.
You can offer support by giving them compliments, texting them when you think about them, offering undivided attention when they share information with you, and letting them know that you will always be attracted to them.
When your partner feels safe and valued with you, they will have an easier time being physically intimate with you.
Communicate throughout the day
You can help build anticipation for a special night by staying in communication with your partner throughout the day.
Sending texts letting them know that you are thinking of them, and that you are attracted to them. It also tells them you’re looking forward to spending time together, which helps “pre-heat” the oven and improve your sex life.
In addition to communicating affection for one another, talking openly about intimacy can work wonders for your sex life.
If you need more time, foreplay, and physical affection outside of sex to get aroused, let your partner know. If you want to have more frequent sex or there are certain times of day when you are more aroused than other times, share this information with your partner.
By communicating honestly, you and your partner will learn how to better “operate” the microwave or the oven.
Make an effort to learn about your partner’s unique needs. This means that you will need to ask them explicitly and to listen actively when they share.
Whether your partner’s sex drive is more like a microwave or more like an oven, it is important for you to be aware of what they need and want when it comes to physical intimacy in your relationship.
When you are able to listen and learn from what they share with you, your connection (both physically and emotionally) will blossom.
