“I have literally no idea what is happening or what I’m doing or where I am supposed to go from here!” my client says with frustration in their voice.
I look down at their paperwork: 23 years old; graduated less than a year ago; moved away from their supports after school. “Yup”, I think to myself, “I know this feeling all too well”.
As a therapist, I always get a giggle when my clients bring up a part of their life that reflects something I too have had to navigate. They explain everything going on and all of their concerns, feelings, and experiences and end it with “Does that even make any sense?” Yes, more than you know.
Young adulthood brings change
Anyone going through change in their lives may experience difficulty adapting to new life circumstances and navigating the unknown, but I have found through my work that the ages of 17-24 can be the most confusing for clients. During young adulthood, clients are gaining more autonomy over their lives, are given choices in their future, and begin to learn the intricacies of adulthood. It comes with so many questions and a level of confusion about how to move forward.
This transitional age brings changes in social supports as well as internal turmoil. Friends move away for work, school, or relationships. Clients might move for the same reasons, forcing them to learn to make new friends, while still trying to stay in contact with old ones.
For young adults who no longer live near their family of origin, there is a period of getting used to not being around those who were part of their childhood. Humans are social creatures, and being torn apart from who you have connection with can be disorienting, scary, and lonely.
Young adulthood brings pressure
Meanwhile, everyone is asking hard questions! What are you doing upon graduation? Have you applied to an internship yet? Do you want to stay with your partner? Do you want to move? Are you applying for a new job?
There is often an intense pressure from the world to have answers to all of their questions in young adulthood. Even if you have an answer, there is an expectation of a proper justification to your decision. This external pressure often becomes internal, and you may begin to question your decisions and fear regret.
Why I love working with folks in young adulthood
I love working with this age demographic because I have first hand experience of what my clients might be feeling. After I graduated college, I left all of my friends and family behind and moved to a new city to start a new job all while starting to grow into my role in society as an adult.
It was one of the hardest years of my life; I felt uprooted, discombobulated, and unprepared. I felt like my clients saying “I have literally no idea what is happening or what I’m doing or where I am supposed to go from here!”
In session, I work to help young adult clients normalize their emotions and I remind my clients of what I had to remind myself when I was in their shoes. Transitional periods of life are difficult, and leaning into them can help release some of the pressure put on by others and ourselves. There are no “perfect decisions”, so stop trying to find one.
You will get into a new routine and feel more settled. You have the skills to create new connections because you’ve done it before, so you can do it again. Remember that you are never stuck in your current situation, and one decision will not “make or break” your entire life. And of course, I remind my clients of their strengths such as being resourceful, resilient, strong, curious, determined, or passionate.
It is normal to not have the answers to the questions of “What is happening or what I’m doing or where I am supposed to go from here!” in young adulthood. It may be uncomfortable, but I know my clients will get through it, because I see myself in them.
If you are struggling with young adulthood and would like to see how therapy could help, feel free to reach out to DK Therapy to schedule an appointment with our office.
