Tag Archive for: Husband

This past weekend I did something I thought I’d never do — mountain climb. My husband has been, to put it nicely, obsessed with Mt. Rainier for a long time. When he asked if I would “hike” with him on our trip to Seattle, I agreed, not knowing what I was really signing up for.

What I thought I signed up for was a tricky hike alongside a mountain. What I got was snowshoeing for 5 hours,  at times at a 45 degree incline! The weather was phenomenal (65 and sunny!), so it was about 40% physical struggle and 60% psychological/mental struggle. I found that if I kept my focus a few inches ahead of where I was walking, I did not psych myself out as much by looking too far ahead (at the very steep mountain) or too far behind (at the very steep mountain).

I don’t know about you, but when I am put in situations where my life feels threatened, I tend to lash out (i.e. yell) at the person who put my life in danger. In this case, it was my husband. We had almost reached our destination, Panorama Point, when I slipped and fell, keeping myself from sliding down the snow-covered mountain using my knees and trekking poles. I fell into the snow and couldn’t move. This is when the lashing out really started. Even though my husband had stopped me from sliding further down the mountain, that didn’t stop me from telling him how much I regretted doing the climb and how much he was not being helpful to me at the time. What can I say? I’m only human!

My husband recognized that I was “freaking out” and asked another climber to assist me by making foot holds so that I could stand back up and continue ascending. “She’s not listening to me at this point,” he told the helpful stranger, “so maybe she will listen to you.” Of course, I wasn’t listening to him! I had lost confidence in my ability to climb further and truly wanted to call it quits! I was also mad at him for even fathoming doing such a dangerous task in the first place! Once I realized that I could in fact get myself standing, I began climbing slowly up. With the encouragement of my husband, I continued to climb until we both safely reached the top of the point.

It was then that I realized how proud I was of my husband. When I was clearly being critical of him, he did not get defensive and make the situation worse. Instead he recognized the frightened state I was in and did not personalize what I was saying to him. Without his encouragement, I would have never gotten over my fall and would have never believed in myself enough to continue climbing. He really does have a special gift to not personalize my attacks. If he had, both of us probably would have slid down further, not reached our destination, and felt defeated. Instead, I felt triumphant and accomplished!

I’d like to think that he is able to handle these situations so well because I am such a gifted couples therapist, but some skills just can’t be taught. Talk about an awesome shared experience! This has been one we will remember for the rest of our lives. When he asked if I’d like to go back, “You bet,” I said. “As soon as possible!”

Next destination will be Camp Muir and who knows, maybe someday the Mt. Rainier Summit!

“Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall.” ~ Confucius

Picture taken of view from Panorama Point on Mt. Rainier