Posts

How to Support a Partner with Agoraphobia

Having a partner with agoraphobia can be challenging. Here are some tips on how to be a supportive partner.

Spotlight Interview: An Interview with Rachel 2.0

Rachel Kurt is in the spotlight again talking about the challenges her clients face, what a therapy session looks like with her and more.

Therapist Spotlight: An Interview with Dana 2.0

Dana Norden is in the spotlight again talking about challenges her clients face and her favorite self-care activities.

Dana Norden, LSW

Therapist Spotlight: An Interview with Dana

Dana Norden is in the spotlight sharing what brought her to the therapy profession, what a therapy session with her looks like, and more.

My Office--Suite 928

Modern & Upscale Office in Illinois

I was interviewed about office design for therapists for Freshpractice.design Blog:

“1) HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE THE STYLE OF YOUR THERAPY OFFICE?

I’d describe the style of my office as modern industrial. My office building was built in the late 1800s with Romanesque architecture and I wanted to keep some of that theme in my office. I plan to take photographs of some of the architecture in the building and frame them as wall art soon.

My Office--Suite 928

My Office–Suite 928

2) WHAT VIBE DO YOU HOPE YOUR OFFICE GIVES YOUR THERAPY CLIENTS?

I am hoping my office gives client a soothing but interesting vibe.

I feel most at ease when offices are free of clutter so I try to keep that to a minimum by having a paperless office and having lots of storage.

My old office space was very dark so I hope my office also gives clients a light and energized feeling.

3) DO YOU HAVE ANY CREATURE COMFORTS IN YOUR OFFICE FOR CLIENTS?

I have offer clients coffee, water, and tea and have a blanket for clients to use if they get cold. I also have a Tangle ‘fidget’ for those clients that need something to play with to stay focused.

I also have a charging station for clients to charge their cell phones.

Since I often give clients worksheets or writing prompts I have clipboards and pens as well. I also have a mini fridge for snacks/drinks but that’s just for me.

4) WHO DESIGNED AND DECORATED YOUR YOUR THERAPY OFFICE? DID YOU GET HELP FROM PROFESSIONALS, COLLEAGUES, FRIENDS, OR FAMILY?

I initially asked other therapists on Facebook to show me pictures of their offices for inspiration but quickly got overwhelmed. I normally am against hiring outside help, but I recognized early on that decorating was not my strength.

I hired a local designer who was able to help me come up with a vision, scoured the internet and provided me with 4 or so options for each piece that I ultimately picked out and bought myself.

I also hired a painter/someone to put together my furniture. This saved me lots of time since I did not want to stop seeing clients in my other office while I was decorating.”

Read the entire interview here.

Why Taking A Career Risk Was Worth It

Today marks the one year anniversary of starting my solo private practice. As I reflect on this past year, I really surprised myself at the risk I was willing to take and the new found confidence I now have in myself. Early on in my career as a therapist, when asked if I was going to go into private practice, I would almost always reply with an excuse about how I “did not know enough yet” or how I “knew nothing about running a business,” etc. Soon after I became licensed, I accepted a job at a group private practice (one where the clinicians work for someone else) even after discussing plans to share office space with a friend of mine. Looking back on that decision, I realized that it was out of my own fears, self-doubts, and lack of confidence in my abilities as a therapist back then, that I made that decision.

Years passed and my confidence in my abilities as a therapist grew. I received great feedback from clients, saw them making progress, and began making a name for myself in my area. Still, I did not feel ready to be completely on my own. I still felt like I needed the referrals from the group practice, the support of co-workers, and the guidance if something went astray with a client. A few more months passed and I realized that other clinicians in the group practice were coming to me for guidance with their clients, their paperwork, and talking to me when they had a particularly hard session. It was around that time that I realized that I had begun to rely on the support from the group less and less, that I was beginning to develop the confidence as a therapist on my own. It was then I knew that I DID have the ability to run my own practice and no longer needed the support of a group practice.

I realized that I no longer had the same fears I once had or maybe those thoughts became quieter. I realized that I was ready to take the risk and open my own practice, that my ability to be an effective therapist would still be there even when I worked for myself.

A year ago today, I opened my doors to my own independent practice. I became my own boss, my own administrative staff, my own office manager. No one was holding me accountable but myself. Soon, the fears came rushing in…

  • What if no one calls?
  • What will I do if clients don’t like me?
  • What if I am not as helpful as I once was?
  • How will I handle all of the messy administrative issues?

Guess what? People did call!

Guess what! Clients continued to say I have helped them make a great deal of progress!

AND I have been able to handle all of the messy administrative things that come with being your own office manager too!

Are those thoughts still around a year later? ABSOLUTELY! Do I let them control my actions like I once did? No way! I tell those fears where to go and I continue being the best therapist I can be!

I was watching Shark Tank a little bit ago and something Mark Cuban said really stuck with me. “Perfection is the enemy of profitability” he said to one hopeful entrepreneur who had taken many years to test his product, wanting to make it perfect, before taking it to market and getting any sales. “You will be testing it for 72 years!” the Sharks said to him. “It doesn’t need to be perfect!”

I realized that I almost did the same thing myself, but in a different way. I was holding back starting my own practice because I felt I was not ready, whether I did not have enough experience or knowledge, I wasn’t “perfect” yet. But I’ve realized that even if I were practicing for 40 years working for someone else before opening my own practice, I might never feel 100% ready, be 100% perfect. Sure, I’ve made a few mistakes this year and am far from “the perfect therapist” but there are no perfect therapists out there! Being a therapist means constantly learning and growing. Working for myself has given me even more of an opportunity to do just that by allowing me more freedom and has forced me to learn things that I never would have gotten the chance to do working for a group practice. In a way, I’ve had to continually build my confidence in my abilities even more so since I am the one “running the show.”

What I’ve learned this year is this:

  1. I do not have to be the “perfect” therapist in order to be an effective therapist.
  2. Just because I work for myself does not mean I have to stop improving myself as a therapist.
  3. Having a bit of confidence can grow into more and more confidence, but you have to give yourself the opportunity to cultivate it.
  4. Working for myself has taught me to advocate more for myself, because no one else is around to do it for me!

My challenge to you (therapist or not!) is to let go of some of your perfection, some of your “should-ing” or “have to do this-ing” or “have to do that first-ing.” There might NEVER be a perfect time to take a risk but there is ALWAYS a perfect time to believe in yourself and your abilities–and that time is TODAY. That time is RiGHT NOW.

What happens if you fail? If you aren’t successful? Then you learn from your mistakes and try again. But if you never give yourself the opportunity to fail, then you learn nothing! Like the famous Wayne Gretsky quote “You miss 100 percent of the shots you never take.”

 

 

The Struggle with Being an Authentic Therapist

Authenticity is a topic I discuss with clients on a weekly basis — how to be your “true self” and why people struggle so much with this. I believe the first struggle lies with knowing which version of “self” to be at any given time. A person is many selves throughout the day depending on the roles they play and who they interact with during their day. They can be the “daughter or son self” the “wife or husband self” the “mother or father self” the “boss or employer self” the “friend or foe self.” I could go on and on and on listing roles that people play each day!  These roles themselves are also constantly evolving with each experience. How can you be true to a self that is constantly changing?

One version of myself that I believe I am fairly true to each day is my “therapist self.” This was certainly not always the case, especially when I was just starting out in the field. I would take theories that made the most sense to me and for my clients then do my best to apply interventions like Aaron Beck (CBT) or Carl Rogers (humanistic psychology). I’d read and try to memorize phrases, hoping to appear very knowledgable and insightful to my clients. I am not sure if it was a lack of experience or a lack of confidence in myself as a therapist that made me feel like I had to be a certain type of therapist.

This got old. Fast. I also soon became too busy to read textbooks every night and conceptualize the best interventions for each client down to every word. By far, one of the best pieces of advice I’ve ever gotten was “the best therapist you can be is yourself.” It is sort of like that phrase “be yourself, everyone else is already taken.” This is very true for therapists as well. I could never have been Aaron Beck. Aaron Beck is Aaron Beck and I’m still me. Once I finally embraced this and let go of all of the “therapist selves” I thought I was supposed to be, my life in and out of session got easier. I started to come into my own and take the theories, interventions, and metaphors and put my own spin on them, adding my own humor and life experiences.

I also found that if am myself in a therapy session, that the clients picked up on this and were more of their true selves with me. They seemed to open more more and be more interospective. I hope  that I can create the type of space where someone can be his or her authentic self, at least for a hour. Hopefully, afterwards, they will struggle a little less with showing others that version of themselves outside of the therapy session.

Welcoming New Hellos

It has been difficult for me to say goodbye to the clients I have gotten to know for the past three years. These clients have shared with me their struggles, triumphs, their secrets, and their pain. I am forever grateful for the therapeutic relationships I have formed. I learn something new every day from a client and I make it a point to tell them that –whether it is a new restaurant, book, TV show, or way of thinking about the world.

A friend of mine recently said, “Attachment is a funny beast. Through the ebb and flow of life our attachments whittle closer to our core, becoming a complex source of compassion, pleasure, and pain.”  I’ve become attached to my clients.

Many clients see their therapist as a constant support in their life, someone who will always be there, even if they are not. They get attached. Attachment makes it hard to say goodbye. To anyone who has ever seen a therapist, and had that therapist leave their place of work, please know this process is just as hard on the therapist as it is on the client.

One of my favorite quotes is by William James: “We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the life that is waiting for us” and I believe I did just that. New beginnings mean new attachments, I believe I am ready. I am welcoming new hellos!