Danielle contributed to an article in the Huffington Post about a new dating trend called ‘hardballing.’ As defined by Logan Ury, the director of relationship science at Hinge, “Hardballing is a new dating term that means someone is being clear about their expectations of a relationship, whether you want a serious long-term partnership or a casual fling.”
She contributed the following:
The dating style may have a new name, but it’s not exactly novel.
“Danielle Kepler, a therapist in Chicago, thinks the pandemic may have something to do with more serious-minded dating, too.
“The pandemic has taught us all that life is short and if you know what you are looking for in a partner, why not say it outright so you can move on if the other person is not aligned with your ‘no compromise list.’
Here’s how to hardball with finesse.
Discuss your nonnegotiables, too, Kepler said.
“If one of your nonnegotiables is wanting to move to the West Coast in a few years, you may say, ‘Being an only child, my parents are a really important part of my life. It’s one of my goals to move to the West Coast in three years to be closer to them. I am really looking for someone who would be willing to make that move.’”
Whatever tack you take, don’t feel bad about being assertive, Kepler said. You have agency, and understandably, some demands for how you’d like your life to play out. Your date should, too. Ideally, they’re hardballing early on as well.
“Whether you choose to hardball before, during or after the first date, I would not delay talking about your relationship goals for too long,” Kepler said. “Otherwise, you may find yourself dating a person who ultimately is not aligned with what you want in a partner or your future.”
Read the entire article here.
