Do you consider yourself your best cheerleader or your worst critic? If you are reading this, you probably have a loud inner critic you want to tame. The first step is committing to positive change, which is challenging when your inner critic tries to sabotage your efforts. Read on to learn about the critic inside and discover simple ways to change that critical voice into a positive coach.
The Inner Critic
The inner critic is a concept in popular psychology. It refers to that inner judgmental voice that can rise with criticisms, demeaning, and hurtful words. Rather than constructive corrections, this critical inner voice is typically associated with negative effects such as lowered self-esteem, decreased confidence, shame, inadequacy, or guilt.
The Inner Coach
In contrast to the negative self-talk of your inner critic, your inner coach offers positive self-talk. Often working as your own personal cheerleader, your inner coach is that private, inside voice offering support and encouragement.
5 Ways to Turn Your Inner Critic into Your Inner Coach
Acknowledge and Recognize When Your Critic Shows Up
Notice when your critical voice is active. It is possible to be so comfortable with your inner critic that you don’t even notice when negative self-talk is happening. Taking note of when your critical voice is active and acknowledging what your inner voice is saying can help you change your critic into your coach. Take detailed notes about what you are doing when your inner critic starts up, what words are being said, and begin to notice patterns. For example, do you hear the same phrases repeatedly? Do those phrases remind you of anyone? Taking time to acknowledge and recognize your inner critic’s details and tone will help you move on to the next tip – challenging the critical inner voice.
Challenge the Critic
After acknowledging and recognizing your inner critic, you will be ready to challenge the critic’s claims. One way to challenge self-critical thoughts is to examine the evidence. Notice what instigated the voice once you realize your inner critic is speaking. Was your boss unhappy with you? Begin to see supporting or contrasting evidence.
For example, did your boss give you constructive criticism about something reasonable? Sometimes, inner critics take an appropriate interaction and blow it out of proportion with extreme criticism. Finding supporting or contrasting evidence can help you reframe your criticism into more constructive information.
Use Positive Affirmations
First, be kind to yourself! Talk to yourself kindly, like you would talk to a friend, and use positive affirmations. Positive affirmations are encouraging phrases or statements that can challenge unhelpful, negative thoughts when applied throughout the day. Neuroscientific research surrounding positive affirmation theory suggests that practicing positive affirmations activates the part of the brain involved in positive valuation and self-related information processing, helping people take negative information and view it in a more self-relevant, helpful way.
Reinforce Positive Messages
Try writing down your positive qualities, talents, and strengths to reinforce positive messages. You can also include your interests and activities. Another way to reinforce positive messages is to create a list of positive experiences and facts to refer to and repeat often.
Remember, You are Not Alone – Reach Out to Someone You Trust
The average person thinks a lot of negative things every day. You are not alone! On a daily basis, the average person has about 12,000 – 60,000 thoughts per day, with 80% of those thoughts being negative. Knowing you are not alone can help you overcome your inner critic by helping you embrace self-compassion.
DK Therapy Can Help
Sometimes, your inner critic is so loud and forceful that you have a hard time turning it off. When this happens, seeking mental health care with a licensed therapist can help you explore different therapy techniques to help you overcome critical thoughts. Contact us to schedule an appointment with one of our licensed therapists.
