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The Empty Space: Dealing with the Void Left by Changing Circumstances

The Empty Space: Dealing with the Void Left by Changing Circumstances

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Life is a series of changes and challenges, some anticipated and others sudden. Career changes, moving to a new city, the end of a relationship, or the loss of a loved one can leave us feeling lost and empty. Though this void is a painful place to be, it also offers opportunities for growth and transformation.

So, if you’re currently dealing with this sense of being unanchored, take a look at a few tips for making it through the changes life throws at you.

Identify What’s Happening

The first step in dealing with significant life changes is to identify it. It’s natural for things to feel bigger than they are, and from this, it’s also natural to experience a range of emotions around the situation. Sadness, anger, and fear can make it hard to look at your circumstances objectively, but once you have a clear picture of what’s happening, you can start recovering. 

Let yourself feel the feelings you’re experiencing along the way as well. Journaling, talking to a trusted friend, or seeking therapy can help you process these emotions.

Rediscover Yourself

Changes often leave us questioning our identity and purpose in life. Try to use this time to rediscover who you are. Reflect on your passions, values, and dreams. What activities or hobbies bring you joy? What causes are you passionate about? This self-discovery phase can help you chart a new course for your life.

Establish New Routines

Big changes can disrupt the daily routines we’ve built for ourselves, which can worsen feeling directionless and empty. Establishing new routines can help add structure to your life during a trying time. Having this sense of normalcy will at least give you a way to tether yourself to your reality.

Start small. Set a morning ritual, schedule regular exercise, or plan weekly meetups with friends. These small, consistent actions can help rebuild a sense of stability in your life.

Build Supportive Relationships

Human connections are important during life’s many transitions. Do what you can to surround yourself with supportive friends and family who offer you empathy and encouragement. When you need help or you just want to vent your feelings, don’t hesitate to reach out to someone you trust. Sometimes, talking to someone who has gone through a similar experience can provide valuable insights and comfort.

Engage in Meaningful Activities

Filling the void inside often involves finding new sources of fulfillment. Participate in activities that give you a sense of meaning and accomplishment. Volunteer for a cause you care about, take up a new hobby, or pursue further education. Meaningful activities can redirect your focus from what you’ve lost to what you can gain.

Reflect on Your Journey

You’re not going to get from Point A to Point B overnight, and because of this, it can be hard to feel like you’re making any progress. Take time to reflect on the journey you’ve made and compare life to where you were before versus where you are now. You may not be exactly where you’d like, but it’s important to acknowledge and appreciate your own efforts to improve.

Seek Professional Help if Needed

If the void feels overwhelming and you’re struggling to cope, seeking professional help is a sign of strength, not weakness. A therapist or counselor can you with provide tools and strategies to help you make sense of your emotions and rebuild your life.

Filling the void left by changing life circumstances is a complicated process. Take your feelings and experiences into account and do your best to just put one foot in front of the other. Recovering from the shock of a big change is hard, but taking it one day at a time will make the challenges ahead a little more manageable. Remember, change, while difficult, often leads to new beginnings and unexpected opportunities.If you’re struggling and you’d like to seek therapy, reach out to DK Therapy at your convenience. Schedule an appointment with our office to speak with an experienced counselor.

3 Tips to Keep Your Commitments to Positive Changes

3 Tips to Keep Your Commitments To Positive Changes

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Committing to change can be difficult. Often times people hold off on taking the first step due to it “not being the right time” in their lives. As a practicing Catholic, I look to Lent as a great time to make a positive life change. For many of us, whether religious, secular, or in between, there are many such meaningful annual milestones to look toward as a motivation for making positive change. In my case with Lent, I decided I would sacrifice alcohol and I would add a daily prayer practice. Perhaps a secular person might do the same with a birthday or a New Year’s Resolution.

All the same, annual milestones for positive change can be productive and healthy things to build from every year and can be chosen individually to best fit our individual motivations for positive and sustainable self-improvement.

As I begin this process in my case with Lent, my self-talk wavers between minimizing the difficulty of giving up a bottle of wine, as it’s not a significant immediate loss, and recognizing the social significance I’ll have to adjust to in the upcoming months possibly not partaking in alcoholic social occasions as much. It’s an opportunity to dedicate the saved money as such to charity and to explore a different way of connecting to the loved ones I share that wine with. My drinking companions are of course not obligated or expected to abstain from drinking, and I look forward to exploring what changes will be promoted in our relationship. I also thought about when I would have time to pray, I struggled to think about when I would get some quiet moments. Praying daily, something I have found to have a great positive benefit for me in the past, just as daily meditation or self-reflection might for a secular person, was not something that I had done in earnest since the diagnosis of leukemia in one of my children. Would my practice of prayer get put to the back-burner when life gets too busy? What would I even pray about? Having read that it’s at times best to have a prayer focus, I decided my focus would be on thankfulness and others who need support. I’d like the opportunity to give back and provide the dozens of prayer groups and countless individuals with the same type of support they gave me and my family during our trying time. The same could perhaps be said for self-reflection and meditation versions of this for a person that is secular. The psychological aspects of Lent are not to be overlooked, as each individual participating is embarking on a period of change. Many of us will quickly and completely quit drinking, smoking, or eating meat only to embarrassingly find ourselves lighting up that cigarette out of sheer habit the moment we wake up. Similar struggles to say a person, not of faith with New Year’s Resolutions. Let’s not forget the emotional longing – not eating meat on Ash Wednesday has reminded me how much I like bacon! Simple strategies will help to reinforce good intentions.

  • Make your intentions known and have a pleasant substitute for the item of abstinence. My sister knows I’m not drinking with her and she’s prepared to hold me accountable while she indulges. I’ll be sipping sparkling water as a replacement. A secular person with similar or different goals could find an accountability partner as such as well.
  • Use a calendar or online reminder to reinforce your goal. An Orthodox mother of 4 devised a brilliant calendar and freezer system to prepare for the additional challenges Lent brings for feeding her family. A person not of faith could do similar with resolutions for a new year or a month on a regular basis.
  • Set aside the time necessary for the goal. My personal goal of praying daily will require nothing but my time. I’ve decided to use my commute time to pray with an app. My lunch break and thirty minutes before bed are other times in my day, I can accomplish this task. Similar strategies could easily work with secular self-reflection or meditation.

Ultimately, Lent provides an opportunity to practice change as do many other secular annual milestones. Forty days of consistency from Lent can provide the boost needed to make greater strides in self-improvement, from our spiritual and secular positivity and fitness to our awareness of our social interactions and dynamics. You also do not need to be devotedly religious or religious at all to practice this change either.  [/av_textblock] [/av_one_full]