I contributed the following to a PsychCentral article about feeling lost and ways out.
“You also might feel like you’ve lost sight of the person you want to be, said Danielle Kepler, LCPC, a clinical therapist based in Chicago, Ill., specializing in adults who are struggling with anxiety, depression, and life transitions, as well as couples with relationship issues.
It also can feel like you’ve always felt this lost, and you always will, Kepler said. “You might struggle to remember a time when you felt like your ‘old self.’” You may “see no way out of it.”
Thankfully, there is a way out. There are many ways. Consider giving these a try.
Reflect on your values. What matters to you? What’s important? Ferreira suggested working through a values worksheet (which you can find online). “Pick one or two values that resonate with you and do something that is in line with that.” She shared this example: One of your values is justice, so you start volunteering at a local non-profit.
Kepler suggests clients think of someone they greatly admire. This might be a mentor, colleague, or friend. She asks them to identify the specific qualities they admire. For instance, maybe you admire your colleague’s friendliness and kindness and ability to assert themselves, she said. “These are often values that the client themselves feel are important; it’s just somewhat easier to identify them in other people than themselves.”
Read the entire article here.
Cognitive Reappraisal Fatigue and Constant “Positive Reframing”December 8, 2025 - 9:00 am
Coping Strategies When Your Job Misaligns with Your ValuesDecember 2, 2025 - 4:27 pm
Breaking Free from Comparison: How to Stop Measuring Yourself Against OthersNovember 25, 2025 - 3:35 pm
How to Support a Grieving Partner When You’re Also GrievingNovember 19, 2025 - 11:09 am
The Science of Emotional ContagionNovember 18, 2025 - 1:51 pm
TV Couples That Would Never Survive In Real Life
/in In the Media11 Simple Questions Before Marriage You Should Be Asking
/in In the MediaWhat It Means When Couples Constantly Post About Each Other On Social Media
/in In the MediaHow To Stay Married When You’re Cooped Up During A Storm From Hell
/in In the Media6 Signs You’re Stuck In A Relationship Rut (And How To Get Past It)
/in In the MediaCouples Therapists Reveal the Ingredients that Make the Biggest Impact on Your Relationship
/in In the Media“Danielle Kepler, LCPC, who specializes in couples counseling, also said that repairing before, during, and after an argument is vital. It helps you have productive conversations and reduces the tendency to be critical or defensive.
“When people feel like their partner is attacking them, they physiologically are unable to take in what the other person is saying due to perceiving their partner as a threat.”
Repairing during an argument might be saying, “I’m feeling really defensive right now, can you reword that last part?”
Repairing after an argument includes reflecting on your own. You might think about what happened during the argument that triggered you. Explore whether you’ve felt this way before, as a child or in past relationships.
Then you and your partner process the argument together. Both of you talk about the mistakes you made and genuinely apologize. Take the time to fully understand and acknowledge how each of you hurt the other.
Doing so helps “to wipe the slate clean and not hold onto negative feelings towards one another,” Kepler said.
Read the entire article
arget=”_blank” rel=”noopener”>here.
16 First Date Questions To Ask, According To Marriage Therapists
/in In the MediaThis Marital Behavior Is Not Only Annoying, It’s A Sign You Might Divorce
/in In the MediaI contributed the following to a Huffington Post article about stonewalling, one of Joh Gottman’s Four Horsemen:
“2. Be aware of the physical reaction you have before you stonewall.
“If you’re a stonewaller, you usually have an internal physiological reaction (increased heart-rate or rapid breathing, for instance) and an external reaction right before you close up: Maybe you physically turn away from your partner or close your eyes and deeply sigh. These are all signs your partner needs to start paying attention to. Discuss what you do during times of distress so you both can recognize the stonewalling warning signs.” ― Danielle Kepler, a therapist in Chicago, Illinois”
You can read the full article here.
When You Feel Lost
/in In the Media“You also might feel like you’ve lost sight of the person you want to be, said Danielle Kepler, LCPC, a clinical therapist based in Chicago, Ill., specializing in adults who are struggling with anxiety, depression, and life transitions, as well as couples with relationship issues.
It also can feel like you’ve always felt this lost, and you always will, Kepler said. “You might struggle to remember a time when you felt like your ‘old self.’” You may “see no way out of it.”
Reflect on your values. What matters to you? What’s important? Ferreira suggested working through a values worksheet (which you can find online). “Pick one or two values that resonate with you and do something that is in line with that.” She shared this example: One of your values is justice, so you start volunteering at a local non-profit.
Kepler suggests clients think of someone they greatly admire. This might be a mentor, colleague, or friend. She asks them to identify the specific qualities they admire. For instance, maybe you admire your colleague’s friendliness and kindness and ability to assert themselves, she said. “These are often values that the client themselves feel are important; it’s just somewhat easier to identify them in other people than themselves.”
Read the entire article here.
6 Signs You’re In A Band-Aid Relationship (And What To Do About It)
/in In the Media“Below, experts offer six signs you may be in a Band-Aid relationship and what to do about it.
1. You stop trying to fix the relationship.
You used to try to work on the relationship. These days, though, you’re more inclined to shrug off your problems; your requests have fallen on deaf ears so often, you figure, why bring it up again? That’s a huge red flag, said Danielle Kepler, a therapist in Chicago, Illinois.
“It might seem like you’re just compromising by not bringing it up, but when you don’t express your wants and needs to your partner, you are creating a win-lose situation,” Kepler told us. “It will slowly build up resentment between you two.”
2. If you were trapped on a deserted island and got to bring someone with you, would your partner be your first choice?
It may sound like a silly hypothetical question, but your answer says a lot about the state of your relationship, Kepler said.
“Who you choose should be someone that you genuinely want to spend time with and care about, someone that you can spend days on end with, comfortably,” she said. “If your ‘desert island person’ isn’t your partner, you might want to consider how strong your bond is right now.”
Read the entire article here.